amluv

i love the moments when you're looking for something specific and come across something so randomly brilliant, it just makes your day. this happened to me last night.




( what makes this video fuckin' hilarious is... )

i got this little gem from one of my facebook friends...it is truly horrifically awesome!!

i don't know why, but i'm totally addicted to watching COPS...it is like a train wreck that you can't help but watch...and since i've seen so many episodes at this point, i'd like to think that i've learned something...( 10 things i learned from watching COPS... )

i don't know who made it or if it's meant to be a joke or serious but all i know is that i can't stop watching this...




there are so many awesome things here...and by awesome i mean really fucked up...

1- the celestial "spirit child" w/ a Hebrew-esque name...

2- the phrase "one of the goddess wives...

3- the depiction of jesus and lucifer...

4- the implication that jesus and lucifer are actually brothers...

5- the origin of black people...

6- the allusion that the romans may have fought native americans on american soil...

7- and this is just made of win...how joseph smith is described as a fantastic teller of tales and yet no once
questions any of his claims...

8- the impregnation of marry...

9- "inter-celestial sex"

10- "mormon jesus"

i don't make this shit up people...i just point it out and laugh my ass off...watch it and take what you will from it, but there are 2 things you can't deny...

a) this is fuckin' hilarous and b) that animation is freakin' awesome!!

or having fun rapin' your childhood...

a friend of mine sent me these insanely funny vids of those old PSAs from the G.I. JOE cartoon from the 80s and i think they're just fuckin' hilarious...










here's the link for the rest...

"g.i. joe PSAs"

YO JOE BITCHES!!

i have a lot of cool peeps on lj. many i know from CBR/YABS, some because i'm a fan of their writing, and others because the universe willed our paths to cross. one of those people is brittany (zee014) brittany's wit, zealousness and fucked up sense of humor has forever endeared her to me, so i thought i'd give a shout out to her and her awesomeness. :)

( brittany's greatest hits: vol.1 )

normally i don't like talking about my "lady days" but since i've been working in a lab w/ 3 other females since last december, we're now starting to cycle at the same time so it's been a weird week. and by weird i mean desperate need of chocolate and committal of random acts of violence.

a friend of mine sent me a link for a spoof of those old health class filmstrips from the 50s on youtube and i saw this little gem among the related vids. and just thought it seemed appropriate for this week.

what i like about this filmstrip is that it makes having your period sound kinda like you just contracted cancer or some terminal disease, like lepersy. it makes me laugh in that it is full of untruths and is totally candy coated or just out right ridiculous and therefore very hilarious.

i sure as hell would have loved to see little ginny when those cramps started. i'm willing to bet that little yellow dress would be the furthest thing from her mind.

the ASU recruitment vid....

But thanks the folks over @ YABS, I have...

Meet Joyce...




i don't know dick about Joyce except she takes an awesome glamor shot by Deb...and that she sang little ditty about getting excited about jesus coming...again




yes, Joyce is a dirty, filthy, filthy jesus whore...

For those of you who have been feverishly following "Fug Madness 2008," I am proud to announce that your reigning Queen of Fug is none other than...yup, you guessed it BAI LING!!

Bai cut a swath of fug more deadly than the one cut but by Rosie O'Donnell to a Krispy Kreme...

So here's to you Bai, we here in the Fortress salute you, you crazy bitch, you...

and now it's time for "Fug Madness 2008: A Retrospective"...

( 10 things i learned from watching 'whatever happened to baby jane?... )


oh bette, few people can do crazy as bat shit the way you do...

words cannot describe how much i love this video...and for *all* wrong reasons...bitches behold...


( hot! hot! hot!... )

I finally found the clip of Jerri Blank's recitation of "Packing a Musket"....Enjoy!!

Strangers with Candy


"Packing a Musket"
by Jerri Blank

When you work from your home
and johns call on the phone
you're a call girl.
When you walk til you limp
and give a cut to a pimp
you're a street whore.
When they're beggin' you "please"
to get down on your knees
near their groinage
Excusa me,
but you see,
don't you touch
where they pee
without coinage
When I straddle and squat
to show you my twat. . .



There are few things on this planet that are beyond fuckin' awesome and "Strangers with Candy" is one of them.


Strangers with Candy is a show aired on Comedy Central starring Amy Sedaris, a pre-Daily Show Stephen Colbert, and Paul Dinello. The basic premise of the show is a twisted take on ABC's "Afterschool Special." And when I say twisted, I mean twisted. SwC is a cornucopia of absurdity and thusly funny as hell. To say that nothing is off limits in Jerri's world would be a huge understatement, SwC rips political correctness a new asshole and then proceeds to sodomize it just for shits and giggles. Here's a clip from the show:


( Let Freedom Ring )

okay, i've only become aware of chelsea handler since i watched an episode of "thank god you're here"...and she literally had me falling off the couch laughing...so i've been keeping an eye out incase she showed up on anything...well apparently she now has a show on E! that airs 11:30pm EST...so of course it's on the DVR list...a couple of nights ago she had bai-ling on as a member of a panel...(it's kinda hard to explain the format)...anyway, i thought chels was gonna piss her pants when bai told her she was, and i shit you not, from the moon...anyhoo, i dug some stuff up chelsea and found this gem...






i'm so totally gonna tell random people that i'm "borderline amazing!!"...that shit's dope...

so i'm perusing j's flist and came across an entry by teh_no with a youtube movie and...well you just have to see this for yourself...





this is the website he had listed on his lj so you can go check it out if you like

http://www.illegal-art.org/video/wizard.html

boy if this doesn't wanna make you go "zigga-zigga uh" i don't know what will...

no, not really...but if i had a baby when i was 10 and had an abortion...that baby would have been reincarnated and become this chick (zee014)...okay so that was a bit of a stretch but hey, if you're reading this then you know me and really shouldn't be surprise... so just pat me on the head and tell me i'm special and send me on my way back to the corner from wince i came...anyway, back to my, maybe-could have been, aborted baby...okay, so i frequent j's lj cuz, you know it's j and j is 4 shades of awesome and all that other good shit, but she has a really fun friends' page too...w/ an array of interesting folks, so i'm scrolling down and come across this one gem, there's like this full blown review of the oh!'s "fight girls"...now i don't know anyone else who watches this show except for me, but i don't count cuz i have know choice but to know myself...

but i digress...so i'm like laughing while i'm reading this particular post and then i go happily along my merry way...well a few days ago, i'm scrolling along and i find another post, but this time it in reference to j's awesome powers of corruption and the further along i read the more i'm laughing...and hell, how can you not like someone who calls their lj "bob ross is god"?? http://zee014.livejournal.com/


so long story short, i made a new friend on lj...(now i kinda feel like one of those halves of the couples you see on those creepy eharmony commercials)...is it me or does that dude look like a child molester??